2.5 Hours of Oddness

Chronological excerpts from yesterday:

5:40 p.m.: I pass an old truck in the parking lot as I'm walking to my appointment. An adorable little boy with a Shirley Temple moptop is sitting in a car seat while his dad (or some adult male) is going back and forth loading boxes. At this particular moment, the dad is not near the truck. I look in and smile at the boy as I walk past him. The boy says "Hey!" to me. I keep smiling as I walk away, and I hear him continuing to yell, "HEY! HEY! HEY!!!" Then I hear the dad say, "What? WHAT??" Hee! I don't know if the boy told him why he was yelling, but if he did, it would've been funny because I'd rounded the corner already, so it looked like he was shouting at no one. I could've stopped to chat with the boy, but I don't aim to look like a predator.

5:42 p.m.: Dialog with the receptionist before my appointment:

Receptionist: Hi!
Me: Hey there. I have a 5:45.
Receptionist: Ok, what's your name?
Me: Ning Ning.
Receptionist: Weren't you JUST in here???
Me: Uh, six weeks ago …
Receptionist: No, I thought you were JUST in here. You look so familiar!
Me: Hmm. Noooo. I was here several weeks ago, but not recently.
Receptionist: Oh, that's so weird. I could've sworn I JUST saw you.
Me: Well, you're here every time I come in, and we talk whenever I'm here, so maybe that's it? But it's been a good month and a half since I've been here.
Receptionist: Yeah, I don't know. It's just so weird.
Me: I've rescheduled this appointment twice, so maybe my name looks familiar?
Receptionist: No. Maybe. You just look so familiar! I could've sworn I just saw you in here!

At this point, my esthetician comes skipping out (literally) and escorts me to the room very jolly-like. She told me she loves it whenever I come in because I'm always so nice and happy. I told her I love the fact that she's always so chipper at the end of the day, which makes me happy. I'm always flattered when people remember me, and I have to say this particular experience didn't disappoint.

6:10 p.m.: I'm walking away from my car to meet my friend for dinner. Two homeless guys are sitting on the curb. As I'm crossing the street, I hear one of them call out to me. I keep walking because I assume they're going to ask for cash, which I don't have. Instead, this is what I hear, "Ma'am? Will you marry me?" I'm somewhat thrown, so I turn around to see if he's talking to me. He is, and I genuinely laugh because it's so unexpected. Then he says, "Will you, even with my better half here?" I continue laughing as I walk away.

6:15 p.m.: I decide to use the restroom while I'm waiting for my friend to show for dinner. As I try to lock the door, which comes complete with taped instructions on how to lock it, I discover that the lock is broken. I debate whether to skip the bathroom visit, then just decide to hurry up and hope no one walks in on me. As I'm washing my hands, the door flies open. Of course. At least my bits and pieces weren't on display. The woman, clearly startled, says, "OH! I'm SO sorry!" and quickly ducks out. I think she decided to use the men's room — not sure if she was too embarrassed and just jumped into the nearest room or if she just really needed to go.

7:45 p.m.: My friend and I amble down the street to grab a pint at Hole in the Wall. He decides to put his leftovers in the car, so I head to the bathroom while he's doing that. (I had soup for dinner, so frequent restroom stops were the theme of the evening.) The door looks closed, but it doesn't looked locked, so I push on it and it flies open. A woman is standing in the bathroom. I say, "OH! SORRY!" and back out. She quickly tells me it's her fault because she mistakenly thought she'd locked the door, but she obviously didn't. Good thing she wasn't displaying her bits and pieces then.

8 p.m.: Some guy walks past us, and he looks EXACTLY like a mutual friend. I point at the guy, and my friend says, "It's not him. I thought the same thing." We confirmed it was not our friend, but this guy had the same hair, same face, same earrings, same style, same walk — same everything. So, so odd.

So yeah. In the span of 2.5 hours, I experienced a child shouting at me, a mock proposal from a bum, two instances of mistaken identity and two instances of walking in on someone who's using the restroom. Fabulous.

Douchebaggery

True story.

Monday morning. I’m driving to work. It’s raining. Hard. With 5 minutes left of my waterlogged trip, I realize my laptop is still at home. Fuck. Now I have to turn around and drive another 30-45 minutes in the rain because I’m paralyzed without that darned laptop.

I slow down to exit so I can head back home. Big Chevy truck to my right slows down. I slow down more. Truckhole slows down, too. WTF? I look over. In the midst of the downpour, he’s got his window down and he’s trying to talk to me. WTF?? He’s all smiling and trying to flirt. In a downpour. At highway speeds. Operating heavy machinery. In rush hour traffic. W. T. F. ? ? ?*

I speed up, jump ahead of the line and exit as quickly as possible. I just don’t understand dudes sometimes. Who does that? And what can the take rate possibly be on douche moves like this??

*I did consider the possibility that my taillights were out and he was just trying to be friendly and warn me about that, so I went home and checked. The lights are working fine.